String of Pearls by Soul Asylum

(Lyrics from memory to follow…)

[Musical intro]

She swings a string of pearls on the corner The streetlight reflects the light in the water The string, it snaps, and the pearls go sailing And the splash and bounce and roll cross the wet street

As she bends to chase the pearls, a car pulls ’round the corner She darts from the eyes of the panic-struck driver Who’s racing to the delivery room Cuz his wife is in the backseat, bustin’ out of her womb

[Musical interlude]

The sac breaks and out come the Siamese twins Who grow up to become the first president With two heads…are better than one

He puts his heads in his hands, says I have to put my heads together I can become the best president ever And not just president…fend for yourself

[Wordless chorus]

Signs his name, takes the blame For all of the names with no shame And at last, they adjourn and they leave And in walks a man, with a broom, and a knife, and blood on his hands

And he sweeps everything under the rug And goes home to his kids, and gives them a hug But his wife was not there, she had just left a letter That said “You’d be much better off without me”

[Musical interlude]

Now his wife took the train to her ex-lover’s funeral Who died in the bathroom, hit his head on a urinal When they got together, the knowledge was carnal And the widow was at the funeral, and they had quite a catfight

And they fell into the hole where the casket was resting And the preacher just left in the middle of the sermon Cuz death was one thing, but women made him nervous And he ran to his car and he pulled ’round the corner

[Wordless chorus]

When something in the street caught the light in his eyes He pulled over, reached down, and picked up a pearl from the gutter He didn’t know what to think; he brought it home and washed it in the sink And he gave the pearl to Sister Mary Theresa Who could not accept it, so she gave it to Lisa A young prostitute who was missing a pearl On the necklace that broke…late last night

[Wordless chorus…fade]